Lying Liars

So, you want to see how the misinformation machine works? Here’s a pretty little example:

You’ve no doubt heard by now that the CIA (among others) has 1) identified the Russians as having hacked into US servers and leaked various documents through that dipshit Julian Assange and Wikileaks AND 2) said leaks being part of an active effort to get the Orange Monkey elected to the Presidency.

In response to these revelations, a spokesperson for the Monkey’s transition team said, “(The CIA) are the same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. The election ended a long time ago in one of the biggest Electoral College victories in history. It's now time to move on and 'Make America Great Again.'" 

Okay? Okay. Three sentences, at least four lies.

Lie number one: “These are the same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.” Well, no, not so much. Actually, in July, 2003 — just prior to the invasion of Iraq by US forces — Joseph C. Wilson wrote an op-ed in the NY Times in which he dissented from the idea that Iraq was buying uranium through intermediaries in Niger. Wilson had gone to Niger to investigate this claim at the behest of — the CIA. Wilson was proposed for the assignment (reluctantly, it appears) by his wife. You may have heard of her. Valerie Plane? Robert Novak outing her as a CIA operative? Scooter Libby taking the fall for the G.W. Bush administration and going to jail? Ah, good times. 

It seems that the CIA was the one agency that got the WMD claim right, and probably could have saved us from that mess, if anyone had wanted to listen. But the Lying Liars shouted them down with false claims and misdirection.

Lies number two and three: “The election ended a long time ago in one of the biggest Electoral College victories in history.” I hardly know where to start. “The election ended a long time ago…”. First of all, the election was held 32 days ago. That’s only a long time ago if you’re a fruit fly. Second, the election, technically, hasn’t ended at all. It hasn’t ended yet because the ELECTORAL COLLEGE HASN’T VOTED yet. The author of this bullshit is claiming victory based on something that has not yet occurred and is even predicting the numerical outcome. 

Just for argument’s sake, let’s say the final electoral college totals are what they are presumed to be; that all the electors sit quietly in their chairs and vote as expected. Here’s lie number three: There have been 58 presidential election cycles. If the electors vote along projected lines, the Monkey’s margin of victory puts him in 46th place. Not even close to “one of the biggest Electoral College victories in history.” (That would be G. Washington, who won twice by 100%).

Finally, it is “time to move on and Make America Great Again.” Newspeak, for those of you who haven’t recently read Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, is a language designed to limit the range of thought. Among it’s various characteristics, things are often described as the opposite of what they actually are, for example, a bill to allow the pollution of rivers, lakes and streams might be called “The Clean Water Act.” You get my drift.

I promise not to spend too much time on the Orange Monkey and his administration, but you gotta keep the pressure on. Fascism Fatigue is how they win.

Governor Who?

"Mr. Safe Bathrooms"

In light of recent events, Sandie reminded me of the regrettably short-lived Sports Night, that aired on ABC from 1998 to 2000. One of the most memorable scenes was when Jeremy tried to break up with Natalie (You can watch it here):

Jeremy: We need to stop seeing each other.

Natalie: No.

Jeremy: Wait! I break up with you!

Natalie: Not this time. No. I gotta go back to work.

Jeremy: This is unilateral! I don’t need you to sign off on this in order for it to be valid!

Natalie: Sweetie, if it makes you feel better to break up with me, that’s fine, but I don’t break up with you.

Jeremy: IT DOEN’T WORK LIKE THAT!

Natalie: It’s working like that right now.

Now, just imagine that Jermey is the voters of North Carolina, and Natalie is the current Governor.

Voters: We need to stop seeing each other.

McCrory: No.

I was trying to explain this yesterday to my eldest daughter, who has lived her entire life in California, mostly.

Me: So, we have a Republican Governor who refuses to leave office.

Kelly: What do you mean?

Me: Well, his Democratic opponent has won the election. The Democrat currently is leading by more than 10,000 votes, which means that there will be no automatic statewide recount - the Democrat’s the outright winner.

Kelly: And?

Me: And the current Governor refuses to concede. He’d dug in his heels and crossed his arms and pouted. He won’t leave.

Kelly: How can he do that?

Me: He claims, with not one scintilla of evidence, that there was widespread fraud. The boards of election have pretty much refused to submit the recounts he’s requested. He finally persuaded the state board (a Republican majority, as are they all) to force a recount in Durham. Because, Durham, 50% people of color, voted for every Democratic President since 1869, so, sure.

Kelly: So what if he doesn’t leave. Won’t someone force him to go?

Me: Who would do that?

Kelly: What about the legislature?

Me: They’re firmly Republican. All in his pocket.

I am frankly tickled by all of this. A barricaded suspect at the Governor’s Manse. Weeping and shrieking at the help, holding up his petticoats and running in small circles. Some hostage negotiator needs to get on the phone and find out his demands.

I get how he feels. Here he is, boss of a fully gerrymandered Red Southern State, a state that retained it’s do-nothing big business Republican Senator and voted for the Orange Monkey for President, and somehow, despite all that, McCrory managed to lose the Governor’s race. The fix was in, see, but somehow it didn’t work. Kelly wanted to know why.

“Because,” I told her. “McCrory backed some stupid legislation - you’ve heard of it: HB2, the so-called ‘bathroom bill.’ As usual, he had plenty of support. This state is rich with people who love their Jesus and hate their queers. Plus, we’ve got the KKK and a long history of Neo-fascism. The problem was, the bill had some unexpected consequences. In response to a conflict between HB2 and federal law, the NCAA threatened to pull their tournaments from North Carolina.

“Now, the unifying force, the one thing on which we all agree, the common ground that allows us to go on as a semi-civilized people, is our goddamned college basketball. You do not fuck with our basketball. When McCrory refused to back down from HB2 after the NCAA said they would pull their tournaments, he might as well have slit his wrists. There was a collective gasp of horror as the governor wedged his head firmly up his backside and let the NCAA leave.“ 

Well, that’s the news from North Carolina. Stay tuned on Monday, as Durham completes the required recount. Is there new chicanery afoot? Will Durham turn magically red? Will the Governor run to the bathroom and lock the door? Swoon with the vapors? Will the Bundy Militia arrive in time to save the day? We can hardly wait.